Worth it

Emma was asking me the other day how babies get out. In the most gentle way I could, I explained that mommies have to push the babies out of their bums (because that's our word for the back and the front hole). Her face was a mixture of horror, amazement, and disgust (and yes, all these reactions are appropriate for any age). She then asked me if it hurt. "yeah, it hurts a lot," I told her honestly (especially without an epidural but I think she's learned enough for one day). But then I decided to take the opportunity to let her know how special she is so I told her, "it hurts a lot and it's a lot of work but you know what...it's worth it! Because now I have you and Weston and Andrew! And all the pain, I was glad to take so you could be in our family."

Andrew was by far, my most traumatic labor ( I had a seizure during labor) but that only made the sight of that healthy baby boy all the more emotional for me and oh how I was grateful he was here and he was well. And I was glad that all the pain and difficulty was mine alone and not his. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and love (even more so than my first whose labor was relatively easy). It gives me a small understanding of how our Savior can love us so much, because he suffered so much on our behalf.

Then the other night I was kneeling and noticed some spider veins in my leg. They've been their since I was pregnant with Andrew as well as some other choice marks on my stomach. Physically this child has taken his toll on me in many ways and the effects are longer lasting than expected. But I rarely think about these marks and count them as proof of my love for these little ones. Because physically the affects of motherhood aren't pretty but emotionally, spiritually you will never know love and understand your Heavenly Father and Savior like you will when you have children. Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better and I have found that something better. So, yes my dear Emma, it will hurt but it is worth it!